If you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells around certain friends, it’s definitely among the Signs You Have Toxic And Not Real Friends.
Have you ever been in a friendship where it seems you are not doing enough, no matter the effort you try to put into it?
With time, you might even be scared to open up to your friends.
People often talk about being in a toxic relationship but rarely emphasize what a toxic friendship looks like.
Trust me, friendships are really beautiful, and they come with a lot of pleasant experiences.
However, having a toxic friend is like a pin in the ass; this minute, they make you think you’re the problem the next minute, they come running after you.
I can relate because I have been in one before, I eventually got burnt out, tired and broken all for this friendship. It wasn’t a nice experience.
Recognizing the signs of a toxic friendship is essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being.
In this blog post, I’ll share the signs that you have toxic and not real friends and give you tips on how to get yourself off them.
Here are some red flags to watch out for:
Signs You Have Toxic And Not Real Friends
1. They Constantly Criticise And Judge You
One of the obvious signs that you’re not with a real friend is that they’ll constantly judge you.
Even when you do things that are not equally wrong, they’ll devise an excuse to judge you for your actions.
Friends are a means to uplift each other’s hands and not judge each other.
They always find fault with you and quickly criticize your choices, appearance, or achievements.
When you’re with toxic friends, you’ll constantly feel inadequate because they continuously compare you to others, making you feel inferior.
2. They Manipulate and Control You
A good person will most likely make a good friend and most of the time a toxic friend will manipulate you into doubting your own reality or perceptions.
They also always want things done their way and not yours, and when you persist, they try to guilt-trip you for your actions or decisions.
3. They Lack of Support and Empathy
This is one great sign of a toxic and not real friend. They show no empathy or support even when you’re at your lowest.
They always act uninterested in your life and are indifferent to your problems or successes.
Even when you explain what you’re going through to them, they belittle your feelings, dismiss them, or make you feel like you’re overreacting.
A toxic friend is selfish and never thinks of anybody other than themselves.
Being friends with them is hard work because they always put their needs first.
4. They Have Negative And Draining Energy
Earlier, I mentioned being with a toxic and narcissistic friend.
I mean it when we went from one series of dramas to another; I just couldn’t phantom the cause of the constant negativity.
I was always drained and tired.
A toxic friend will bring you down with their pessimistic outlook because they thrive on chaos and create unnecessary drama.
Toxic friendships can undoubtedly take a toll on your well-being.
Spending so much time trying to please them (or read their minds) can distract from other important relationships or activities.
If you always feel drained and mentally exhausted after spending time with a particular friend, then you should question your friendship with them.
5. It’s A One-Sided Relationship
A toxic friend will always want to be on the receiving end. They’ll always receive but never give.
You go out to get them birthday presents or celebrate them during their big and small days, but they never reciprocate the same energy you receive.
Your generosity can be easily taken advantage of, and it may be toxic if you constantly give in to your relationship.
Friends should contribute to the relationship. If they don’t, they may assume that you don’t mind.
6. There’s Jealousy and Competition
One of the signs that you have toxic and not real friends is that there is obvious jealousy and unhealthy competition.
Friendship should be the last place where jealousy or competition should take place.
Once it gets to the stage where your friend begins to show traces of jealousy or competition with you, it’s best to run.
How do you know they are in competition with you? They are trying to get whatever you get, match your energy, be envious of your achievements, and even feel threatened by your success.
You’ll also notice that they are trying to sabotage your progress and may actively try to hinder your growth.
So when you tell them about your success, they are either indifferent or show signs of disapproval.
When you share the good news about yourself with someone, always notice their body language, facial expression, or attitude toward you.
7. They Gossip and Backstab You
A toxic friend will definitely gossip and spread rumors about you; they are trying to get what you have, even if they clearly have more than you do.
When they can’t have it, they will continue to speak negatively about you to others.
They talk negatively about you behind your back.
Not only will they gossip about you, but they will also bring gossip to your face for you to contribute.
Be wise enough not to join them else; you’ll be dragged out along the line.
8. You’re Scared To Tell Them The Entire Truth
If you find yourself constantly keeping your guard up with some of your friends, then maybe they are the toxic friends you have.
This happens when you don’t feel safe. You may avoid sharing anything that can be used against you.
Toxic friends may not even notice. They may continue using that time to talk or focus on themselves.
9. They Tease or Insult You Regularly
Friends should build each other up. Occasional jokes are fine, but constant put-downs are a red flag.
You shouldn’t feel constantly criticized in a friendship.
If your friend insults you, tell them it hurts.
A true friend will apologize and stop, but a toxic friend might accuse you of being sensitive, overreacting, or saying it’s just a joke.
10. They Disrespect Your Boundaries
Boundaries are important in all relationships.
Supportive friends will respect your limits, while toxic friends think they’re above boundaries, especially when they need your help.
You may feel bad about setting boundaries. You might think you’re being mean. You may also feel frustrated with yourself for not sticking to your rules. But you’re not doing too much. Only a toxic friend will make you feel bad for setting boundaries.
What To Do When You Notice The Signs That You’re With Toxic And Not Real Friends
After noticing that you have a toxic friend, you do not need to cut off entirely from them because it may be a personality issue; however, staying with them and wanting the friendship to thrive is almost impossible.
You may want to rethink the friendship, or you just want to let go of it completely. Here are a few things to do;
1. Create Boundaries
Creating boundaries will help you put yourself first.
Tell them straightly what kind of attitude you don’t appreciate from them and what actions you would love them to stop taking toward you.
For instance, if they comment negatively about you, tell them you don’t like to be spoken to in that manner and that they can do better next time.
2. Limit The Information You Share With Them
Now that you know that they are often jealous of your success or achievements, it is best to know when to keep quiet and not overshare with them.
In fact, tell them things you can confidently tell a random stranger but resist the urge to share details about your progress, personal life, or latest achievement with them.
3. Take A Break From Them
You spent enough time dealing with the shenanigans of being with a toxic friend, so it’s best to create time for yourself.
Reflect on if you truly want to be with them and see how your life can improve significantly without them.
4. Have A Conversation With Them
I want to believe that every toxic person is, to a large extent, aware of their attitude.
However, you need to communicate with them by telling them how their actions made you feel in the past and moving forward.
You’ll appreciate it if they could turn a new leaf and improve the friendship.
Listen to their response and body language, and decipher if the friendship is worth fighting for.
5. Open Up To Others
Toxic friendships can leave you feeling emotionally scarred and bewildered. You might withdraw from others, making it challenging to forge new connections.
However, you likely have supportive friends who can offer solace and understanding.
Reach out to them and share your experiences. This can help you heal and rebuild meaningful relationships.
Moving On
If you recognize multiple signs of a toxic friendship in your relationships, it’s time to re-evaluate your connections.
This is because your mental and emotional health is crucial.
You deserve healthy and supportive friendships that bring joy and fulfillment and not vice versa.