How to know if you are ready for marriage: Marriage is a union between two different people. It can be based on collusion, agreement, love, etc. The mistake most people make is playing married and dating side by side, wherein these two terms are distinctly different from each other. Being in love with someone does not qualify you to get married to that person; being catered for also doesn’t suffice. Basically, there are no qualifications for getting married; it’s a personal decision that needs personal requirements. It’s not just something you wake up one day and decide to do. A lot of homes today are broken, and many divorced couples find that their qualifications might not have done the trick. Few of the most misconceived qualities for getting married are age, money, status, and cooking skills. After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, it’s time to correct all these misconceptions and understand the real reasons behind marriage: it isn’t about material things. Age is just a number, let me remind you. You can be 40 and still not be eligible for a marriage partner; it’s not a job that requires qualifications and certificates, nor is it a degree either, but it is a more important and cogent matter that requires an understanding of the dos and don’ts. If this is not considered, then it’s just a guessing game. Let me take you through some misconceived values in marriage:
1. Age is never a criterion for getting married; rather, maturity is.
2. Class and status are just material things that may or may not be considered as marriage criteria.
3. Cooking skills are one of the misconceived values of marriage for both genders. Don’t be deceived; just because you can cook doesn’t mean you can manage being married to someone.
4. Psychologists do believe that they can understand human beings and their nature, so they would be able to decipher their different moods and meanings. I’m not doubting your potency; I’m just saying it doesn’t work most of the time because it goes beyond that.
5 Personal accolades are self-glorification; I’m wifey material 100%. I graduated with first-class honors, I have a stable and paying job, etc. Sincerely, all these are just part of a whole and not the whole itself. Now, let’s look at ways to know if you are ready for marriage. As I said earlier, it is not a job that needs qualifications; it entails a lot more than that. Keep in mind that marriage doesn’t go to the qualified; it qualifies the unqualified. The bare version of you is when you are married. The best lesson to learn is when you get married, so don’t be deceived—there’s no qualification for marriage. You just need to rid yourself of some barbaric norms, opinions, and thoughts about marriage. Here are some ways to know if you are ready for marriage:
1. First, you have to be able to distinguish between dating and marriage. When you are dating someone, you have the license and free will to opt out at any time, but in marriage, it’s not always possible.
2.Always keep in mind that it is not a vacation; it is a long-term journey, as they say it is a lifetime contract.
3.Don’t use others’ marriage experiences to choose yours. Don’t allow others’ mistakes or experiences in marriage to determine your choice. What works for one might not work for another and vice versa; rather, just learn from their mistakes and avoid making those errors.
4.When you feel the urge to settle down, surround yourself with like-minded people, and consult professionals, as some interactions with bizarre individuals can delay the process.
5. Words are very powerful; they can bring a thought to life and, at the same time, water down a whole conception. Use self-affirming words and be true to yourself.
6. Realness is very important; let your partner know you for who you are. Be real to him or her; don’t fake your lifestyle, accent, qualifications, or any other vital thing, as this can bring about a lack of trust.
7. Once a marriage is built on this, it will affect the journey because the foundation matters a lot. 8. Don’t let your family or society force you into getting married; let it be a personal decision made out of personal conviction and determination.
9. Dating someone for years and hoping to settle for the same person doesn’t mean you will get the exact person in marriage. Marriage can change one’s personality.
10. Once you are ready to learn, submit, respect, love, and be loyal to a person, then you are getting on a journey to marriage.
11. Be ready to face challenges. Most single people out there are not ready for this; they think it’s all a bed of roses. They just want to eat their cake and have it, which is impossible. Be prepared for good and bad times.
12. Rid yourself of the thought that marriage is a prison. It’s nothing like that; in marriage, you get the most freedom you can ask for, except if you are not ready to be committed to a person, then you are not ready for marriage.
13. To be with someone, you have to be a good listener, tolerate more, and be understanding.
14. Improve on yourself, check yourself, and work on your lapses. Do a personal examination; it is really needed. Ask yourself this question: can I get married to my kind? An answer to this question will make it much easier.
15. All that glitters is not gold; don’t judge a book by its cover. I had a friend who is married now, and this has become one of her greatest mistakes and regrets in life. She got married to a rich banker who is in the marketing sector. She fell for the flashy cars, classy outfits, and other benefits that came with the work, and she didn’t consider anything beyond the facade. Along the line, the man was given an unbearable task at work, which was to sleep with a client and get a massive promotion. He couldn’t meet up with his boss’s demands because he respected and loved his wife, and he lost his job when his wife heard about it. She called him all sorts of names, saying he should have done it, and after all, the money was going to be bigger. Now her marriage is on a roller coaster because she only wanted a good life and didn’t care about the ups and downs. Can we say she wasn’t ready for marriage? That’s the bone of contention here. In marriage, once you step in, you should be all in—not one leg in and one leg out. Give it your all: total submission, commitment, concentration, and attention.
16. As a woman, are you ready to go through the pain that comes with childbirth? The emotional, physical, and mental stress that comes with pregnancy, coupled with childbirth and nurturing? Let’s put your figure aside for now. If you are ready to lose or gain weight, sacrifice your time and body to grow a child within you, deal with the acne, heartburns, and many pregnancy side effects, some of which are everlasting, then that’s a decision to consider. If you can’t handle it, then don’t bother going into it, because most people believe that’s one of the fundamentals of getting married. Not to mention the shape and figure defects.
17. Positivity in all areas; eliminate negative thoughts and anxiety about marriage.
18. Be prepared to give up some aspects of single life and be ready to fit in and blend into that of a married person. I didn’t say you should become boring all of a sudden, but create your fun with moderation.
In conclusion, marriage is not an interview based on specific prerequisites for a particular position; rather, you get to know what you and your partner want once you are in it. Don’t make hasty decisions or unnecessary assumptions based on a scenario or the other and rush into marriage. It’s about timing; wait for yours.
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