Sometimes, the questions you should ask your ex reveal what worked, what didn’t, and the lessons learned along the way.
Every breakup doesn’t have to be brutal or tough, although it may involve many emotions, such as pain, regret, and heartbreak.
However, it is best to understand things from your ex’s point of view, as doing this can probably make things work again. Even if it doesn’t work, you might just find closure and find it easy to move on with your lives.
This is where the question to ask your ex comes in.
Some people believe that asking deep questions after a breakup is a bad idea. However, if you’re contemplating the possibility of rekindling things with your ex, it might be worth the risk.
Even if you’re not planning to get back together but are in conversation with them, asking these questions can help clear the air and allow both of you to move beyond the breakup.
Here are some key questions to consider asking your ex to gain clarity and closure—or perhaps even open the door to a new beginning together.
Questions To Ask Your Ex
Details About the Relationship:
You might want to inquire from your ex about some details from the past relationship.
These questions will give you an insight into the way they felt about you, some of your own or their mistakes in the relationship, and most importantly, the lessons to take home from it.
- What do you think went wrong in our relationship? Was it a lack of communication, differing values, or external factors?
- What were the biggest challenges we faced? Were there specific issues that we couldn’t overcome?
- Do you think we were compatible? Were our personalities, goals, and values aligned?
- Do you regret our relationship? Do you have any regrets or unanswered questions about our time together?
- What did you enjoy most about our time together? Reflecting on the positive aspects can help you appreciate the good times you shared.
- What do you think I could have done differently? Getting feedback from your ex can help you learn from the experience and improve your future relationships.
Questions About Your Feelings:
Sometimes, even after the breakup you still can’t totally control how your ex feels about you, and vice versa,
I mean, you both shared a life together to some extent.
Asking them about their feelings towards you allows you to gauge the possibility of moving forward together or moving on for good.
- Do you still have feelings for me? If you’re considering getting back together, this is a crucial question to ask.
- What do you think about me now? Understanding your ex’s perspective can help you gain closure and move on.
- Do you regret breaking up? Their answers can provide insights into their feelings and whether they’re open to reconciliation.
- What have you learned from our relationship? Understanding what your ex has learned can provide valuable insights for your own growth.
Questions About the Future:
Asking your ex questions about the future in some way gives you hope about tomorrow.
- Do you think we could ever be friends? If you’re interested in maintaining a friendly relationship with your ex, this is a question to consider.
- What are your hopes for the future? Understanding your ex’s goals and aspirations can help you gain a better understanding of their perspective.
- Can we agree to move on and not look back? This question can help you both agree to let go of the past and focus on the future.
- Is there anything you want to say to me that you haven’t said before? This question can provide an opportunity for open and honest communication.
Questions To Ask For Closure
15. What do they appreciate the most about the relationship?
6. How did they deal with the breakup recovery?
17. What are some of the things in the relationship they wish they could erase?
18. Is there anything they would want to discuss with you?
19. Do you both want to stay connected as friends?
20. What did they feel was the breaking point or argument?
21. Are they happy where they are?
Questions To Ask Your Ex About Yourself
Sometimes, it’s best to see ourselves through the lenses of others, and to some extent, your ex might be the right person to do that, they probably didn’t tell you during the course of the relationship so this is the best time to do that.
22. What do you think I’ve learned from our relationship? Understanding your ex’s perspective can help you reflect on your personal growth.
23. What do you think I should work on for my next relationship? Your ex’s feedback can provide valuable insights for your future relationships.
24. What do you remember most about me? This question can help you understand how you’re perceived by your ex.
25. What do you think I’m good at? Getting positive feedback from your ex can boost your self-esteem.
Questions About If They Moved ON
26. When did you realize that you’ve moved on?
27. Was there something that affected the change in your feelings?
28. Was the relationship too stagnant?
29. If you could tell you one thing about the relationship, what would it be?
30. Is there anything you took away from the relationship?
31. Was there any way you could have worked on your feelings?
32. Would you have considered counseling?
Questions About the Breakup:
Asking questions about the breakup helps you reflect on how to move forward and create some sort of closure between you both.
33. Was there anything specific that led to the breakup? Understanding the underlying reasons can help you avoid similar issues in future relationships.
34. Do you think we could have worked things out? This question can help you understand if there are any possibilities for reconciliation.
Questions to Ask Before Getting Back Together
You may be considering reconciling with your ex and going back however, you must be sure that you both still have the same value system and factors that will aid the intimacy in the new journey you’re about to start.
35. What is the status of your current relationship?
36. What are you looking for in your future relationships?
37. What relationship skills would have made our bond better?
38. What was the best thing about our relationship?
39. Do you still love me?
40. Do you think we would be happier together than apart?
41. Do you have any unresolved feelings?
42. Do you believe that we had a healthy relationship?
Question To Discover If Your Ex Is Still In Love With You
43. What are your favorite memories from our time together?
44. How would you describe our relationship in one sentence?
45. What do you think about when you are alone and thinking about me?
46. How is your healing going?
47. How do you feel about me now?
48. If we got back together, what things would you do differently?
49. Do you think you’re still in love with me?
50. Do you miss me periodically?
Wrapping Up
While you could ask your ex plenty of tough or emotional questions, these are just a few examples of the most common and meaningful ones.
These kinds of inquiries can give you valuable insight into who they are and where they are in their life now.
The responses to these questions can open doors to new possibilities like reigniting the spark and considering getting back together or accepting the closure you need to move forward without them.
